Let’s tell the truth. Do you scream when you are trying to get a point across to your kids? In other words, do you ever have this look?
I will hang my head in shame now. This is one of those parenting moments that I am not very proud of. Let’s set the stage…
Mom takes a few minutes away and makes a mad dash into the shower. She goes through the shower in record speed before the kids barge into the bathroom needing wanting something. Then as she is stepping out of the shower she hears a noise that is not too pleasant. The sound of something spilling onto the floor. The bathroom door is opened immediately and a blue-eyed little girl is looking at you with the puppy dog face surrounded by hundreds of goldfish. Yes, the goldfish that you just happened to buy from Sam’s only two days ago.
Queue the orchestra….
L, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? WHY DID YOU NOT ASK MOMMY OR DADDY FOR HELP? I JUST BOUGHT THOSE GOLDFISH TWO DAYS AGO. MONEY DOES NOT GROW ON TREES YOU KNOW. THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME THAT THIS HAS HAPPENED LITTLE GIRL. WHAT IS IT GOING TO TAKE FOR YOU TO LISTEN TO WHAT MOMMY SAYS?
Sad little puppy dog face L looks up to you with tears in her eyes. Mommy, I love you. You were taking a shower and I did not want to bother you. And… the guilt fills your heart. Of course, she was giving mommy alone time and trying to just get a simple snack. I really feel very small right now!
Please tell me that I am not the only screaming mom? I debated all evening whether this screaming is hereditary? My mom screamed, her mom screamed and I am sure her mom screamed. We are creating a domino effect and I want the last domino to fall and start a new effect.
Surely, I can get the same point across without yelling right? Sigh…
I’m a yeller. I admit it. It’s ugly and yucky and I hate it, but sometimes it pops out before I can stop myself. I am less likely to yell than I used to be, but I’ve got a long way to go before I’m the calm, graceful, dignified mother I want to be. Think I’ll ever get there? Sigh. I feel your pain. I really do.
I am so glad I am not in this alone!
Love the face! I needed this post this morning to know I am not a bad mother, we all have our moments. I will admit I am a yeller and always the one who feels so bad afterwords. It was just last night that I told Dev, money doesn’t grow on trees. I always told myself I would never treat my kids this way. sniff sniff….. here I am, wishing I could learn to be better about it. (((HUGS)))
I told myself the same thing and here I am walking the same path. Trying hard to change it.
You aren’t alone in this Jen. I think we’ve all said the dreaded, “money doesn’t grow on trees” line to our kids cause in this day and age there just never seems to be enough of it and it stresses us out and makes us turn into the mommies we are trying so hard not to be.
We all are doing so much, trying to be full time moms, full time biz women, full time students and everything under the sun that our family needs that we let those stresses come out usually at the wrong time and we end up yelling at our kids.
I know I’ve been guilty of it and boy does it weigh heavy on my heart.
Hang in there Jen. You are an amazing mom, I know I’ve seen how much your girls love you. We all do too. (((HUGS)))
i’m a screaming mom too );
I’ve yelled and am doing much better about it lately. I try to put myself in their place. Would it hurt my feelings to have my husband yelling at me? Of course. So, it’s something I have to be aware of, so I can change it.
Sadly yes. I scream all the time – even though I know it doesn’t work. I so want to stop! I hate it. Ugh.
Jen, you KNOW i’m a yeller!! i’m not proud of it either but I am VERY short tempered and I have VERY, VERY little patience. I need my alone time and when I don’t get it… watch out! LOL
LYMI
You know, it doesn’t go away when they get older. I caught myself yelling at my son last week when discussing his bank account (he lives on his own now, mind you). He gets stubborn, and his ADD makes him difficult to deal with, and I lost it. “Listen to ME!” I called him back (after he hung up on me), and spoke to him calmly..and he listened. I decided then that I just have to make an extra effort when the kettle is starting to boil…and NOT yell anymore.
You are so not alone in the screaming or the guilt that comes afterward. I declare, I wake up every morning determined not to scream at my kids and I fail 70% of the time. Sometimes within an hour of them waking up! They just do the craziest things! Then at night I am up thinking about how I am such a horrible mother. I am now trying to mentally train myself to constantly think about how annoying my husband is and how I don’t scream at him as much! If I can hold it in with him then I should be able to do the same with my kiddos!
Yep, I’m in that club as well 🙁 I try to stop, but then, again comes the screaming point – I’m telling my son to do (or not to do) something once, twice, 3 times – he ignores, I yell, he does what I’ve asked for and finishes with “it’s no fun when you yell at me….”
I am a screamer, too. :-((( In fact, I typed in “I am a screaming mom” into Google search, and that’s how I found this blog entry.
I have the same feelings as Jo: I just lose it after the 4th, 5th time I have to repeat my request to my kids.
I REALLY want to stop screaming! I hate myself when I do it, and I sometimes cry afterwards (in front of the kids, too). My dad used to be a screamer as well, and I’m sure that’s one reason why I turned out like this.
Sometimes I even yell at my husband…
So, those of you saying that you are improving, HOW DO YOU DO IT?!?!?! Please give me tips! Deciding that I won’t yell doesn’t work so much. 🙁
Thought this might help someone else, too.
http://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/parental-authority-and-control/ask-psl-im-tired-of-screaming-at-my-kids-help/#