Jennifer

Looking back on the day of my public meltdown, I feel a sense of silliness. I’m sure though if this incident ever happens again (please NO), I will react the same.

Let’s set the stage for this meltdown. Our county has several small towns. Two of the small towns have 4th of July parades over the holiday weekend. Sissy wanted to participate in the parade since M was clogging in the parade. How could I say no? Plans were made that Sissy would ride on the float while M clogged the entire parade. She is my hero. Such a trooper even with getting blisters the day before in our town’s local parade. After double-checking that I would meet them back at the same spot where they were dropped off, Hubby and I were on our way to find a front row seat for the parade. Of course, I had to get my hugs in before I could walk away from the girls.

The parade strolled down Main Street and all was well. It was a beautiful day with the sun shining down on all of our faces. My smile stretched across my face as M performed right before my eyes and Sissy was waving to everyone in sight. Pictures were snapped and video taken as tears were starting to form in my eyes. I’m so proud of my girls. They make my heart swell, no doubt!

As the parade was finishing up, I grabbed Baby J’s stroller and pushed him to go meet the girls at the same spot I dropped them off too! We waited, we strolled, and waited some more. No sign of the float or the girls. My heart starts racing, but I decide to just stroll some more. After about 10 minutes, I received a text from my close friend. M’s clogging team had decided to clog one more time in front of Main Street but for me to get L from the float. I figured she should be at the “same spot” within a few minutes. Those few minutes passed and no L. I begin to walk all over Main Street and this small town. As I am trying to keep calm, my heart begins racing even more. Where is L and is she fine? Did she leave the float? Did she think she saw Hubby and I? I try to call M’s clogging teacher, but there was no answer. I tried to call Hubby, no answer. I tried to call my Mom, no answer. I finally make the decision to go meet back at our vehicle. Surely, Hubby must have grabbed L and this would solve all of our problems. I see Hubby, M and my stepdaughter, but no L. I LOST IT!

Big crocodile tears start flowing down my face and I begin to wail. A sound that I have never even knew I could make so loud. I scream, where is L? Who has L? I CAN’T FIND L!!! My husband immediately takes off in the vehicle. My stepdaughter tells me I need to calm down but I am thinking what if this was your child? My brother goes straight to the police to give a description of L. Words start just spilling out of my mouth that shouldn’t have such as… M you are never going to be in the parade again, M you will be changing clogging studios, M why did you not make sure to get your sister? M just hugged me. She knew I was distraught and talking out of my head. I begin walking all over and praying. God please take me to L. My phone dies. How am I suppose to reach Hubby? I run to my parent’s car and plug my phone in to charge. As soon as it has enough battery to turn on, I receive a text from M’s clogging teacher. She has L near the town pool. I am ready to collapse. Hubby brings her back to me and we both join in the closest hug ever and just cry together. I have my L. I never want to let her go!

After we calmed down, L said “Mommy, this was caused by evil. The devil separates evil from good. Jesus died on the cross for our sins. He brings us good.” Wise words from my girl.

I feel so silly the way I reacted. I should have known M’s clogging teacher would have taken good care of L but all these bad thoughts went through my head. I asked for forgiveness for saying all those words in distraught. Thankfully, M is my calm child and is very cool and collective.

The day I had a public meltdown…